5 husbands indeed...

In the Spring, I started a journey with the woman at the well that sparked so much inside of me.  I kept going back to the scripture of her story and I kept mulling it over in my head.  Something wasn't sitting right with me.  All the times I had heard her story being taught, it seemed legit that she was scandalous and we like scandalous women.  But I don't think this woman was scandalous at all.  She was broken.  Broken beyond the ability to see what was the point in love...what was the point in trusting men.  As I sat with that woman at the well, I met myself and a new vision of her.  
Her story is in John.  John 4:7-30 to be exact.  You are welcome to go read it but I'm going to paraphrase.  Jesus is hanging out at a well in the middle of the day...like the hottest part of the day.  And there was no Southern sweet tea and fans to pass the time.  It was hot and dusty and yucky.  And Jesus is hanging out by the well, which Jacob had dug, and I find that to be somewhat poetic since Jesus is in the lineage of Jacob. This Samaritan woman comes along, and Jesus, being a Jew, definitely wouldn't have had anything to do with her because there was a social system in order that said Samaritans were lesser than Jews.  But Jesus was always tearing down social norms and giving the structures men like to put in place a good ol' heave ho right out the window and this situation was no different, asked the woman for a drink.  Stunned, the woman bantered with Jesus about the water and being thirsty.  Jesus promised her that she could never be thirsty again and she indeed wanted that type of fulfillment.  Then Jesus asked her to go get her husband. She replied that she has no husband. Scandalous. Then Jesus says,"you're right.  You have had 5 husbands and the man you're living with isn't your husband." Scandalous. Or is she??
Sitting with this woman, I learned so much about her heart. See a woman back then who had 5 husbands and was living with a man most likely had suffered losses you and I can only imagine.  Divorce wasn't rampant then like it is today, it wasn't socially acceptable or common.  But mortality in those days was high and so I think that the woman probably lost 4 of those husbands to death.  4x a widow....4 times of investing your heart and it being ripped away in such final merciless ways. Then the 5th husband...well, she only most likely tried again because of shear survival.  Women had no rights and no way of taking care of themselves well in those times.  A man wants to own his woman and what woman who has faced widowhood over and over has anything left to give emotionally? So it would make sense for a 5th husband to kick her to the curb and divorce her. She wasn't scandalous, she was broken.  
         She went at noon day instead of early morning with the other women. Scandalous. I have always heard it was because of her shame.  Shame.  Ha!! Maybe she was just siiiiiiiiick and tiiiiiiiiired of alllllllll the other married chicks hen pecking about their prefect little lives and their happy marriages and how their husbands were this and that.  Maybe she just didn't want to listen to the banter of women, who walked around cluelessly at how much the heart can break.  Maybe she just needed the quiet. Maybe she just needed the chance to meet the Savior. She wasn't scandalous, she was broken.
         And I notice that Jesus never once says anything about sinning.  He never told her to go and sin no more like he did the adulterous woman.  He never told her to turn from her ways or stop what she was doing.  He only gave her HOPE.  He only promised her a drink from a Well that would give her life and she would never need more.  Life.  What she needed was life and a refreshened hope that there was more to this dried up place.  She wasn't scandalous.  She was no longer broken. She had met the Christ and knew that there was hope.

Love worth having

I went to a Bible study last week and we were discussing the book of Revelation.  I had a light bulb moment!! A true OH MY GOODNESS THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE MOMENT! My last post was about "ride or die" relationships and how I have always had a thing, an attraction, to them.  I never really understood why that was but my "ah-ha!" moment solidified that it was deception and crappy mimicking of truth.
Throughout the Bible, we Christians are referred to as the "bride of Christ" and he, the groom. An imagery of a perfect relationship.  The "ride or die" relationship.  Sticking it out through thick and thin in the name of love.  The perfect relationship.  No matter how unfaithful the bride is, the groom always comes to rescue her.  For love. The perfect unblemished love.  A redeeming and holy love that is really hard for us to wrap our finite minds around. So why all the divorce and corruption in marriage?
AH-HA! Of course….Satan! How did I overlook it??? He has always wanted to be God and since he can't be and isn't, he has nothing left than to be second fiddle, pseudo creator, a twisted mimicker. In Revelation, we are introduced to the anti-Christ and his Babylon.  The sickness of co-dependency.  He needs her.  She needs him. He loathes her and her beautiful seductress ways to the point of destruction. He destroys her. Sound familiar? Well, it does to me!! I have been in that relationship more times than I could have imagined.  The "ride or die" that almost kills you.  The sick mindset that somehow you can love him/her enough to change/help them.  The twisted idea that love is wrapped in sex and lust and somehow it will fulfill, yet at the end of the day we are just as empty as we started. Destroyed. Again. Divorce. Adultery. Shame. Heartbroken. Farther and farther away from the truth that there is a love that isn't sick and that won't corrupt, but a love that is redeeming and fresh.  I see it a lot.  People clinging on to relationships so they won't be alone, because they've already given everything they have, because it seems comfortable.  So many reasons that people are losing hope in a genuinely safe love.  Where are all the good men? Why are all the women crazy? These are the questions I hear seeking hearts ask quite often. Corruption of true love is the answer to those questions.  There is a better answer…
JESUS! He is a redeeming, self sacrificing, forgiving, gracious, merciful, compassionate, honorable, trustworthy partner! He will never leave you with the feeling of being taken advantage of. He is safe to give your all to and fully give in.  It is THE SCARIEST thing to do when all you have ever known is the corruption of a false love and it has wrecked your heart.  See, the goal is to wreck your heart.  Destroy you! Make you feel as though love is unattainable so that you will continue to fall helplessly down the rabbit hole of deception instead into the arms of redemption. It is safe to fall into Christ.  You can trust.  Cannoli! TRUST! That may currently be the scariest term for any person I know.
You are not doomed to a sick co-dependent relationship because Jesus did the work on the cross to prove it.  He died that you may live.  So live in love by walking in His ways and let yourself be loved by Him. Let your heart be redeemed by a genuine and truly deep love that is safe.  Your heart will thank you. JESUS!