I wrote a Dose of Reality about 5-6 years ago. It was published a little over 4 years ago. Why am I just now doing anything to try and get it's message out there? Because I believe more in the principles of it today than maybe I did even 4 years ago.
I'd like you to venture down the road of hellashish trial and tribulations that I've faced in the last 4 years. It has been blessing and complete trauma on equal dramatic pendulum swings of extreme. In Dec of 2011, Jay and I were working up to 16 hour days everyday to try and get Beauty for Ashes Salon and Colorbar open by Jan 3, 2012. During that time, my children were just functioning along with us and my daughter grew about 3 sizes in what seemed like a months time. We opened the salon Jan 3 to a slammed appointment book. Yay for business but it made it very hard for me to focus on my new baby business. I was business scammed in the first month for a $1000 which created a whole new issue of having to close all my business accounts reopen them, change my payment info for each company I did business with. I moved into the salon fully staffed of 7 people and within the first 3 months, 3 left, leaving us shorthanded. Jay and I took our first vacation in about 4 years to the beach with the kids in March. While we were at the beach microwaving our children (Nyah's face swelled shut for 3 days! I needed frankincense but didn't know about it at the time!), the public school my children attended called DHR on us claiming we didn't provide clean clothes for our children. HAHAHAHA! We look like this and that's the best you can come up with?? It was really retaliation against us for making a complaint against them, but talk about ruining a vacation! I was completely devastated. So when we got home from our little vacation, we had to set up an appointment with DHR. God totally took care of us and they told us that we wouldn't hear from them again. The social worker that came out was super kind. More stress.
In April of 2012 (if you go back a read my blog, you will see where I prophesied Rebekah joining us), I got pregnant with baby #4. Yay, but in my first year of business? Good timing God! In November at 36 weeks pregnant, my back went out completely. By the time I made it to the hospital, my body was basically in shock from the trauma. They had to do a non-magnetic MRI and found out that my discs had ruptured and were compressing my nerves to the entire lower half of my body. I had to use a walker for the rest of my pregnancy to help hold my back up and so that I wouldn't fall and become paralyzed. They gave me an epidural block to hopefully get me through til I had the baby. I got out of the hospital on Tues, Wednesday my precious grandmother died and Thursday was Thanksgiving. Friday my busiest stylist threatened to quit on me because she had to work Black Friday. More stress.
I had Rebekah naturally on Dec 31, 2012. It was my first natural labor and though it was awesome in many ways, I had some mental trauma due to not knowing what to expect. One week later, Jay's sister in law died of cancer. His brother needed him, so did I. More stress.
In April 2013, my epidural wore off and I was unable to walk again. In May, I went to see my neurosurgeon, who after 5 minutes of looking at me, demanded we do emergency surgery. That day. As soon as he could get a room. OH NO! I'm on my way to work.... But instead I had to call Jay and tell him to bring the baby so I could nurse her because she had never taken a bottle but I was about to be unavailable. I was crying and terrified. I had never had any sort of surgery and much less my back slit open for someone to mess with my spine. I had to come off of any pain meds 3 days after my surgery because it dried up my breastmilk. I'm still not sure how I did that but Boswellia is amazing. I had to go back to work 2 weeks later because I had 2 stylists leave while I was getting surgery. More stress!
In the fall of 2013, we started our adventure into homeschooling. My body was in complete meltdown and I was not doing well. Jay and I had decided to get a divorce because we no longer had it in us to be married. I was a miserable human being. He was miserable and we hated each other. People kept asking me if I was pregnant and I said,"No. Just still fat from the last one." But right after New Year 2014, lo and behold, I was pregnant with baby #5! (I am now Wyle E Coyote waving my white flag of utter defeat) ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? ANOTHER BABY! I was 31 weeks pregnant at my first maternity appointment. Not only did I not know I was pregnant, but I had no time to mentally prepare for another baby...and my marriage was falling apart. More stress!
In April 2014, we welcomed baby Shiloh. She was a sweet little addition to our family. My natural labor with her was not traumatizing and I healed well. I was back at work 4 weeks later. In October 2014, the Holy Spirit radically moved in and began to completely heal our marriage. We were enjoying each other more than we had in many years.
In December 2014, Jay died, in front of me, in our bedroom. Are you kidding me?? We just started liking each other! We were just getting to a new place of peace. We were at a new beginning and about to turn the page on the last few years of complete trauma. We had conquered this marriage thing for a decade. Devastation beyond what I have ever known!
In 2 days it was 2015 and the hardest year of my entire adult life. I was now a widow with 5 children, 3 who homeschool and a business that I work and own. I could barely complete a full sentence and tears just streamed down my face for about the first 8 months. More stress!
In all this time, through all these things, I never depended on anything but God to make it through. I am not strong but I serve a strong God. I am not super but I serve a super God. I know the weight of the consequences of raising a generation to depend on drugs to fix the hard places and mend our hearts and it isn't worth the cost! I know that when things are so hard and you don't see an end, it seems like it would be the perfect time to get "a little help." My friend, please do not buy the lie! Do not let them win your heart and your family by selling you an easier way. There is no easy way to make it through hard things. You must walk one long step at a time. You must seek God's face and let His divine peace guide you. Jesus came that we may have life and have it abundantly! Let him work for you!
YES! I still believe in A Dose of Reality. Purchase my book A Dose of Reality to help you on your journey. I hope it encourages you and that you will come to a new place of fullness in Christ. I share this story for you so that you know, that I understand hardships and wanting to give up. Jesus is fully sufficient for all your trials and tribulations. Grace will carry you to new places and in the midst, your weakness opens a beautiful place for God's strength to shine through. Let Him shine! I will encourage you through your journey! Find me on Facebook. :)
